Thursday, August 14, 2014

North Africa, the Evolution of Self, and the Emergence of the Fifth element.




North Africa, the Evolution of Self, and the Emergence of the Fifth element.

With the laws of nature avoidable, the face of North Africa has and will naturally continue to change. The region, despite its recent struggles has proven its ability to observe such natural laws wisely.
When following Tunisia, the scale and nature of the Egyptian revolution brought many unique qualities to a popular revolt. The people toppled a deeply rooted and corrupt government. They did this with superb balance. It was a movement Balanced by specific demand on one hand, and enormous restraint of the remarkable power of the people on the other.  It was testimony to the collective wisdom and grace of these people.
Indeed, moving forward there is no substitute for this kind of balance, not just political but more important appears to be cultural balance. What we see in North Africa is nature restoring its true balance by wrestling the autonomous spirit of man from the grip of tyranny both cultural and governmental.   
Devine; Healthy individualism is the spore from which innovation, spiritual and ultimately all aspects of human Evolution spawns.
Egypt and morocco being  the two most culturally influential countries of  North Africa and arguably the entire middle east, these two countries are our focus in the case for  cultural balance between healthy collectivism and the individual’s right to dignified self-discovery and self-expression as these are all critical elements of a viable nation’s progression.

Despite the apparent political challenges, the modern origins of these countries greatest challenges seem to be embedded in an outbound culture. A culture  which has all but erased  many of the key aspects of the “individual’s” life which  Ultimately, effects the life of our  society’s .

Strong family values pervade every aspect Egyptian and Moroccan life. 
Yet in these strong values a line drawn heavily at the family’s door step, 
One sees the undesired consequences of extremes.
Descriptively, while the inside of homes is adorned with the best a family can muster, the whole community suffers severe neglect at the municipal infrastructure and street levels.
The physical environment in and around the streets implies more than piles of burning garbage and consequently un-breathable air; it is a visible representation of a lack of institutions and effective community organization.
    As a result, the current physical environment contradicts the objective of our very north African cultural enfaces on building prosperous families.
For clarity we look at the substance rather than the shadow it casts. Until now we see both country’s cultural narratives and organized religions have been the institutional equivalent of government.
In fact, religion is viably the only form of citizenry. For all sects, the sense of belonging to a community and having a platform to contribute one’s self to community exists almost exclusively within the religious realm.
Yet we know in a modern world entire communities spring up around every topic known to mankind. Soccer, culinary arts, science, and martial arts, and philosophy. Yet still we find ourselves bound to a Nobel, yet, in worldly terms; limited community of religious.
Within both the Maghreb and Sahara regions the majority of spiritual, intellectual and material capitals all move within culturally appropriate religious confines.  While Religious practice continues a path of moral law, of right and wrong, inevitably its extremes have pushed the individual away from the community, as it until now has not afforded the youth the dignity of self-discovery.
Instead it has posed great obstacle in the individual moving closer toward one’s own true self-knowledge. It appears that above all factors this is a leading cause to the current massive swell of discontent within the society.
The inquiry’s into illumination of  “self-knowledge” through self-expression is occurring by the millions.
  This collective longing for the dignity of self-discovery, has clearly reached a critical mass, revealing the sprouts of a genuine cultural renaissance.
While there is an absence of resources to nourish and quench the curiosities and ambitions of the youth;
It is this braking loose from the confines of the old culture... which is the well from which resource will spring ,supplying institutions and platforms and resources to  serve the many needs of our populations growing in size and complexity.

Until now the individual faced an uphill battle in discovering and expressing his or her individuality. This was especially true when it did not conform to the current culture, style, customs and worldview. Yet we understand that forward thinking individuals are the bases upon which like-minded communities and institutions are built.
In the case of the majority of countries within the Saharan region we can see very clearly that oppression of self-exploration have been sure to fail.

It is said that a people get the government they deserve. If this is true then no change of power can liberate people.
Only a change in the consciousness of the people can guarantee the removal of tyranny and bring balance to power.

Be it political, economic or religious, the majority of these societies naturally seek to remove obstacles to the individuals’ relationship with “self” not out of selfishness, but rather out of the need to share the enormous wealth that resides within.
How, when, and where to create laws for society are a moral and philosophical debate in which the Maghreb (MENA) populations will be eternally engaged.

Yet it is a debate in which, Ones truth cannot be made by devoiding another of his or her own.
If the age old saying is true “As above, so below”
Then in all relationships …From the anatomy of an atom, to the male and female, from the powerful to the powerless; these complex relationships reveal wisdom of cosmic proportions. 
There is an undeniable benefit in the synergy caused by the individual’s own “truth/ nature” and their natural contribution to the whole of society.

North African societies especially Morocco embraces its diversity
. Jewel of Islam home to Judaism, Sufism, Christianity and even Buddhism. It has always been a region of multiple ethnicities, i.e. The Berbers, Twarege, Arabs, and blacks from the sub-Sahara. Morocco has historically been and continues to be a cross roads of the world. It is clear the younger generation is reaching far beyond political constitutions, and self-evidence. Reaching beyond the basic laws of nature, toward the "fifth element", the unseen manifestation in society. 

Devine; Healthy individualism is the spore from which, ultimately all human Evolution spawn.
When looking universally at cultures, not just North African, but also that of all nations, It is impossible to deny the overwhelming experience of a mysterious yet specific existence of the  “ONE”  and our “ONNESS”.  “The Masses and its individuals”
.  This relationship in its balance and full expression is the fuel for evolution, the emergence THE FIFTH ELEMENT.  Where “A healthy individual like the stone of the fruit is a societal treasure”.


By
Oziris Abdou

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Nadi points ,health ,society here and the stars

It's atmosphere .. A "system" like an organism like the living Nadi points , it's is a (birth child)... It is a growing child of the mind heart and gut and all the .For that we think , we create ...
Buy XSUNTREC

Through the flesh too the Nadi points



 ... Yes it is in the earth as it is in the mind , on earth as it is in heaven  ....
Through the flesh too  the Nadi points is found the reflection of  the upper and lower atmosphere

Monday, January 2, 2012

EGYPT, cultural renaissance & the Evolution of self


EGYPT, cultural renaissance & the Evolution of self.
 
 
Jan 25 2011, an “Egyptian revolution” rocked the world sparking a series of similar revolts across the Middle East.
 The Egyptian people toppled a corrupt government with enormous restraint, commendable wisdom and grace.
However, MANY CHALLENGES IN EGYPT are not POLITICAL; rather their roots ARE found in the outbound CULTURE.  
before MAKING any observation on culture, A REMINDER of the obvious MUST be made: “there is no substitute for BALANCE.”
 in political REVOLUTION, MOVING from one CULTURAL EXTREME, or current PROBLEM TO ANOTHER does not create a future solution.
to THE EMERGING EGYPT past cultural EXTREMES HAVE RESULTED IN   deficiencies IN ALL ASPECTS OF the individuals’ LIFE.
 SUCH deficiencies inevitably manifest themselves throughout the whole SOCIETY.
 
  THE lack OF PLATFORMS FOR CULTIVATING HEALTHY Individuality is a primary impediment to the advancement OF Civil SOCIETY in EGYPT. consequently, the Evolution OF “self”, is the solid root that nourishes the evolution of the COLLECTIVE OR Nation.
A BALANCE BETWEEN a healthy collectivism and an individuals freedom of self- discovery and self- EXPRESSION ARE CRUTIAL.
 
Cultural Values and the stark contrasting lines upon which they are drawn can be found in every experience of Egyptian life.  We begin with the most visible IMPRESSION OF how the very values constructed to protect and support CULTURE, fail WHEN THEY become EXTREME. a cultural disregurd for balance and holistic THOUGHT CAN be found in MANY REPRESENTATIONS of EGYPTIAN SOCIETY, beginning with the surrounding “Physical Environment” and moving inward.
 
Physical Environment
 
   Although Egyptian culture is perhaps one of the most positively pro family cultures, one sees the contradictions and undesired consequences of a “value- line” drawn so heavily at the family’s door.
 In brief description, while homes are adorned with the best a family can muster, the whole community suffers severe neglect at the municipal and street levels.
The physical environment in and around the streets Imply more than piles of burning garbage and consequently un-breathable air; it is a visible representation of a lack of institutions and effective community organization .
 Cities throughout the Nile Delta are among the world's most densely populated areas, containing an average of over 3,820 persons per square mile (1,540 per pkm²). Because of the physical environment , Women, children and the elderly are confined to the family’s flat, rarely venturing out. Sedentary lifestyles produce numerous illnesses such as, obesity frailty, and over all poor mental and physical health. 
  Young and middle- aged men are more mobile, yet exposed to an environment so degraded and unsanitary.  Long-term exposure to these streets leads to a severely diminished quality of life and shortened life- span blatantly corresponding to the street environment. It is hard for even a passive observer to watch.
 The unofficial objective of Egyptian culture to “Build prosperous families” is heavily contradicted in this foregoing example. Apathy toward a holistic wholisticly oriented cultural  literally physically imprisons the individual, as the street environment is nearly inhospitable.  
This cultural disregard for balanced thinking is found when looking at the “all- important collective.”  A culture of extremes strips the individual of enormous potential, forcing all people into a static culture of single mindedness; Ignorance becomes a tradjic diversion in identifying those roots of Egypt’s real challenges.
Culture as the political seed : 
It is said, “ The People get the government they deserve.” -In short Culture is the political seed. By this definition “government” is an indirect manifestation of a collective self-worth; demonstrated and actualized through culture. It is not the government, rather an imbalance in currently debated  Egyptian culture, which until know obstructed  the fundamental needs and rights of its masses.
In Egypt, especially among the young, there is an intense, yet unspoken, search for “the Way” or “liberation of the self.”
With each day that passes the illusion of Government fades. The decentralization of recourse and the ensuing realities are defined by the character of its people.
 
The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen
For clarity we must look at the substance rather than the shadow it casts.
With the removal of a handful of corrupt individuals, “government” is at this time essentially non-existent in Egypt.
One might conclude that this means the citizen is LARGE.  How ever  Till now, the countries organized religions have been the “segregate Institutional equivalent of the government.” A one size fits all religious practice is the only repository for self - expression an individual has. When observing the ego driven mentality of Egyptian culture, we find a major discord /imbalance, as cultural ideals prohibit the individual from forming and uniting with “self”.
Antiquated religious dogmas until now permeated Egyptian culture, locking the individual down in society; rather then liberating he or she with the Devine knowledge, “ The healthy individuals essence is a societal treasure”.
 
 
Religion and citizenry:
Religion is viably the only form of citizenry in Egypt. For all sects, the sense of belonging to a community, and really having a platform to contribute to this community, exists almost exclusively within the religious realm. To these religious institutions, the awakening of the individual is like an armed rebel to an unpopular government.
In Egypt the majorities of spiritual, intellectual and material capital all move within “culturally appropriate” religious confines. 
While Religious practice in Egypt continues a path of moral law, true / false, right / wrong, inevitably it pushes the individual away from community, as its rigidness has become a great obstacle in moving closer toward one’s own true self.
This discord with “the self” has lead to the current massive swell of humanity with its discontent.
 The inquiry into illumination of   “the Way “and movement toward self are occurring by the millions. This collective longing, having reached a critical mass, reveals the sprouts of a genuine cultural renaissance.  Yet there are a few institutions that can nourish and quench the curiosities and ambitions of the youth. A greater variety of institutions are needed to serve the many needs of a population growing in size and complexity.
 
 
The INDIVIDUAL and Institution- building:
 
As we see, the religious sect predominates at the communities’ center. At nearly every juncture, the individual faces an uphill battle in discovering and expressing his /her individuality. This is especially true when it does not conform to the current culture, style, customs and worldview.
The reality is while Egyptians have “some sort of longing for self- expression”, both the upper and lower class have very little real exposure to the possibilities of a “healthy modernism” that manifests itself in life- enhancing, codes of conduct, liberation of the heart and mind- in addition to the responsibilities associated with internalizing and maintaining “healthy modernism”.  
Safely assuming that it is the individual who ultimately creates communities of like- mind, it is these communities that build institutions and serve limited segments of the population. We find the need for a balanced culture that helps men and women to cultivate and assert their essence. Such a healthy development can guarantee higher quality of life to larger segments of the population.
 
 
 
The Individual vs. The collective:
Generally, Egyptians are A-political. They are primarily interested in bringing harmony to their immediate surroundings. Although the allegiance to the “family” or “religious sect” is strong, many of them can be considered mildly religious. 
 However, Group mentality, being what it is, the disposition can be divisive, making “the OTHER” the enemy. Sectarian mentalities, and over- interference with the way of life of OTHERS, make adversaries of countrymen and even family members.
Many disagree with this “sectarian Mentality” and other similar extreme cultural positions. Just or unjust, however, they are silenced out of fear of social Ostracization; Making it difficult to stand for even the most basic human rights.
 
Fighting the POWER
 Defiance is encouraged at the early stages of child development. Male and female, both taking their lumps for being defiant, early on learn that winning and losing is part of the game. To lie down could be the end of you, to cry is to be beaten even harder; to fight back with honor and logic is to be respected or rewarded.
With this said, the spirit of “Fighting the POWER”, or challenging authority has not yet been carried to the top! There is a very cautious line drawn at the elders and religious’ authorities. Publicly expressing one’s true views is often socially unaffordable, an indicator as to why decade after decade, those authorities have perpetuated subjugation- thus Egypt’s challenges have remained unabated.  Culture is dear to many. It brings security to even those that do not like it. As a result, often this very culture is upheld by some of its greatest opposition, purely out of self-preservation. The rights of self- discovery and self-expression are being advanced by challenges to “power.” Yet it is really the god given need to exercise SELF that has begun to create the cultural circulation that is diversity.
 
 
Diversity
From its inception individuality brings the freshness of diversity to any culture.
However, in close- minded society, one is not encouraged to think, rather obliged to follow the crowd. If culture aims, consciously or unconsciously, to eradicate the individual, the Manifestation of this suppression clearly materializes in the lack of diversity across the social spectrum.
  This lack of diversity is most damaging to worldviews, further translated into more immediate and visible removal of varying forms of self-expression, “fashion”, spiritual practice and behavioral patterns. 
                 
Holier than thou Fashion statement
Because wealth, or economic attainment is out of the reach of the masses,
 Religious Piousness has become a widespread way of distinguishing one’s self or gaining status / rank.  The limited esthetic styles expressed on the street are almost exclusively religious, whether it’s a beard- style or the gown a women wears, or the branding tattoos of religious symbols both genders may wear. This has become more a fad then a matter of spiritual practices: one of the safest ways to express oneself within stylistic and socially acceptable lines. This pious identity is wide spread because such expression passes with little scrutiny. Instead of being fashion, sports or art as in western societies, it is of religious connotation in the greater Middle East. However, these self expressions bound to world views Carry with them religious sectarian connotation that permeates society, thus disconnecting the individual from his/her self and attaching them to a cultural end, mis-educating   the masses on a deep social level.
As a result worldviews are constructed and the 
Accumulation of resentment: builds. The ability to care for the future is in how we choose to act now. Despite the fact that our focus on the things we love has the power to transform the things we hate. Cultural narratives, places of worship; politics and the TV, all perpetuate this chronic blame- passing game.  A healthy amount of self-study and willingness to take on the challenge of owning one’s own actions and the circumstances they create is the only way to clear a cultural of blaming others for the current state of life in Egypt.
 
The Abraham riddles:
the  consequence of living in “the story” or the “Abraham riddle”. Is not only the story is perpetuated but the The missed opportunity .
 It is a story exploited to no positive end, the imposable riddle, it stretches the past and reaches the future, while neglecting the time we live in. The opportunities to restore balance to these extreme worldviews present themselves with every action and uterence, every second of everyday.
 
 The Middle Eastern mind has been blocked from exploring THE NOW and its cultural options. Robbed of ingenuity, applied to the possibilities of new paradigms, Egyptians and the entire Middle East have been stuck in a pattern of denying themselves a better future. We have been raised not on true humanist morality, i.e.; “healthy individuality.’’ Rather, we have been bred with contempt for today based on vows that were sent down by previous generations. These vows cast Christians, Muslims and Jews into roles of one of the world’s greatest dramas; each with their respective slant for or against. Supposed, of the same father Abraham, brothers are made warring minds and bodies. Whatever version of the “story”, many are living in the “end days.” Despite this lazy thinking, we are very much alive; the world is not coming to an end. We must live in a reality of the NOW.  The promise of a better after-life is awarded for committing crimes against humanity in this life, severely affecting the minds of the masses and the ability to make peace now, and sustainable decisions for generations that come after us.
 
 
 
 
Education
Egypt has the largest overall education system in the Middle East and North Africa.
The country has moved from a highly centralized system to offering more autonomy to individual institutions, yet Egypt’s overbearing homogenous religious culture Penetrates most educational institutions, regardless of its mission statement or the origin of funding.  The result is an unforgiving, and inflexible worldview. This vacuum inhibits the spawning of free thought, ultimately its full expression in the development of the Healthy individual hence the health of society.   No change of power can liberate people. Only a change in the people can guarantee a removal of tyranny and bring balance to power.
When looking at culture not just Egyptian but also that of all nations, Humanity and the earth. It is impossible to deny the overwhelming experience of a mysterious yet specific existence of the   “ONE and ONNESS.
From the anatomy of an atom, too the male and female, too the powerful and powerless; these unthinkably complex relationships reveal knowledge of cosmic proportions.
Be it political economic or religious, Egyptian culture for its own sake must continue to remove obstacles to the individuals healthy relationship with “self”.
How, when, and where to create laws for society are a moral and a philosophical debate in which the people must eternally be engaged.
However Healthy Self-discovery and self-expression are not just basic human rites, but laws of nature.
Again balance is paramount to this and all aspects of life.
From the individual to the masses and back again. The reflective nature of this relationship places the responsibility with both the individual and society.
 
Given its history, Egypt at this time will benefit enormously in seeing 
 “A healthy individual like the stone of the fruit is a societal treasure. Devine; Healthy individualism is the spore from which scientific spiritual and ultimately human Evolution spawn.
 
 
Oziris T Abdou 

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Cosmos

;) all you have to do is tug on it .. Cause your tapped in !! Cosmos

Thursday, December 22, 2011

le port de Amsterdam !

Straight lines___
circles &squares..
TRIANGLES TOOOO !
if ,one , daresssss , A dash of this and that into my magic vat !
Fear the drink, not of this potion.
I ... The hunter ,sorcerer of time and space ... a Jean from
of every race , The soul arbiter of the look upon my face ...
The black, the white, the Gray !
The sun and moon of thine night a toast too the light of your day ! Drunken cling the pirates tin , swarm at sea many a sharks fin . So too hell then ...we set sail !!
Heav ho .... Too le port de Amsterdam !
Oziris Abdou

Eternal swaying of the trees

..~•***•~*•* :)
A black and white image ....
Yet the many colors of my existence originate with you ...
My mother a cosmic rainbow .
The Rise and fall of your Chest from the heavens a gentle breeze your breath ... in all i see your pulse , the
Eternal swaying of the trees ..~•***•~*•*
Oziris Abdou

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Risk

Take no risk , You've risked it all ... Risk it all, you've forgotten contentment ;)
Oziris Abdou

Monday, December 12, 2011

Good company ...

In this life ...Our Blessings are many ! And among them seeing you again, one more blessing it will be !

Friday, November 18, 2011

Freedom of expression is a human right



Without entering a battle of personal Opinions of what "healthy self expression" is . The case for freedom of expression must be made ... And aliaa magda el elmahdy makes this clear ...
We are not herding sheep ! Egypt is experiencing a cultural renaissance ...
Egyptians and all human beings if we are to arrive to our true essence, must be allowed to explore the world and ourselves .
Freedom of expression is essential to this process . At this time in Egypt , Antiquated Cultural and religious dogmas are are passed off as " spirituality" . These dogmas and cultural positions obstruct basic humen rights and the process of the individual in his or her journey toward "self knowledge" ... We must separate religion from government and let the people LIVE according to their will.
Arresting exploration ... Dose NOT encourage healthy human development ... It simply stifles it ...
Society can benefit from healthy individualism ..
Its about Balance !
xsuntrec

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/17/aliaa-magda-elmahdy-naked_n_1099081.html

Thursday, November 17, 2011

(it) each moment ...

(it) each moment ,
this day and all that live, breath, hear earth .
Now ... the magnificent the oneness!
I Immerse myself
for the day is good ,
& thanks giving Is here !!!
( It ) each moment
By xsuntrec

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Nationalist Fart

The Nationalist fart ...
Creation over revolution
Whoever smelt it dealt it .
Or so they say ...
I find the revolutionaries "prospect story" makes me yawn , ineffective and short lived.
A great fart is one , the fragrance of CULTURAL RENAISSANCE .
It's of a life one eats in the now!
The bouquet that lingers ....
Oziris Abdou

Friday, June 10, 2011

secrets...


There are no secrets ,only  ignorance ,
that we do not see ., That  Is ours .....
Oziris Abdou 
()t/*\


والجهل فقط
لا توجد أسرار
أننا لا نرى
ان ملك لنا
وسيريس ابده

Monday, May 16, 2011

Without condition / دون قيد أو شرط


Control nothing by  means other then love!
 Love holds not; but cherished its beloved.
And in so doing
A freed heart
more authentic its love knows .!  


 By Oziris Abdou 

لا شيء من دون حب السيطرة
حتى في هذه يجب أن نعطي الآخرين حريتهم
تفعل هذا القلب هو المحررة
وأكثر حرية القلب أكثر واقعية في الحب قد تعرف
وسيريس ابده

Friday, April 22, 2011

convergence of two worlds



When I sat down after this incredible experience I was unsure! Should I write this in a dream journal or in a daily journal? 04-24-09 What had happened was no doubt as real as a breath is to the lung. Real as it was, looking back I still can’t believe it.

My friend’s wife calls me one night out of the blue. She was excited at the prospect of me meeting a girl that she herself had just met. She was convinced we had much in common . This girl and I spoke on the phone for a couple of days.  It sounded as though we did have a lot in common . And so,  naturally  the next step in seemed was appropriate. We set up a dinner date. It just happened to be the day after my 32nd birthday. We met that Thursday night  8:30 pm.
The restaurant was this  over-priced movie star hub called "Huston's" ; a place where star-struck Angelenos  hang out awaiting a more fleshy experience of E-entertainment. It was a very different kind of stargazing   than I was used to; Hollywood , what happened to looking up at the open skies on a dark night with Imagination !?  This  was a place off my general  interest radar.  In fact, it’s a whole two miles from where I live, and I never knew it existed until that night.Nevertheless, it was her place of choice, and I was open to that.
We arrived  settled in , then ordered . 
Whether it was the things that we decided to talk about, or maybe it was the  only things we could talk about, Wither way.  sitting across the table face to face with her changed our communication .  I couldn’t relate to her. She was a sweet person but our priorities and interests were vastly different. Common ground slipped away, I began to find it hard to listen . I tried to imagine my way back to a more relatable place with her. What began as a hopeful meeting between two people turned into a conversation to fill the quiet as far as i was concerned . Small talk is not one of my personal strengths. The more she talked i became  distracted ! 
Little things in the nearby  surroundings took the center of my attention as   her voice faded into the ambient restaurant noise  .  looking around i thought "we'll 
the décor is surprisingly uninteresting for ratings as high as this place has".  I noticed an awful lot of people looking in our direction . I wondered can everybody see me,  cause i'm definitely not here LOL. by the look of it ,   they are all on uninterested blind dates as well? 
Oh no , they are staring   Beyoncé , whom  I didn’t even realize  was in fact sitting next to us. Thats interesting i thought ,without succumbing to the erg to stair like everyone else . Instead i dipped the asparagus in a spinach dip that apparently made this place "famous". I vaguely listened  as she told me tales  of much embellished trips to Europe, which she described by cost and not experience. I was here for the human connection,   but instead i not only couldn't connect with  " her royal highness  " "so well accomplished" . 
 I also , Increasingly feel like a stranger to myself . Uncomfortable , i was never one to compare or measure  myself so critically   . 
 A  feeling of anxiety crept in and before I realized it , i was standing at a real personal limitation ! Any "growth / Expansion " from here would require a very uncomfortable stretch of self .
 I was not prepared to encounter or even comprehend such a  matter. Im a full-grown man at this point, and in that moment I was a very specific kind of man. One  who came from a specific cultural, political, economic, and social style/ circumstance. Common or not, I belong to a strata that very much defines me . It suits me  thought to myself  . 
So why did  this discomfort beg the questions: Was I enough? Was I in the right place?  more importantly : Had I tried hard enough in life? Did I have enough schooling? Was I, in fact, socially adequate? More school, more money, more muscles, more height, more refined and more conventional ways?? would these things really be better for me???  It was clear that I was no longer the boy with ambiguity of the “future” on my side. My person was very much developed. Looking at the highest point on my chest slowly scanning  down the rest of my body to my toes , in that moment  it was illuminated .   I was in fact matured and this is what "it", "I" was , period .  My space as a man was filled .  I couldn't tell if  i was either satisfied with or ignorant to this reality BEFORE sitting  across from her . But now i was just unsure of that reality  . 
 My understanding, my perception of “it” had grown a new dimension and now i felt small 
i visualized a gold fish kept for years in  one of those small clear plastic bags, suddenly! dumped out into a huge tank and i imagined the gold fish franticly trying to figure out how to grow into all the extra space he now found himself in  ! expectation comparison ! it was all too much ! 
  From these thoughts ,  I slowly returned my attention back to her  dispute the stuffy and hard to breath environment of my mind ,  I stuck it out . We  finished dinner and  with a smile  and hug we said our  "goodbye" . "talk to you soon- have a good night".
  In a haste, I turned and deep inside I reached for the relief of a profound  breath ;  But  only found the same stuffy cloud that loomed over dinner .
Square one !  again?  That I have become something , a person now with  much missing ! And this , simply by an expansion of my vision ; through  her reality no less !! -- I looked around feeling lost as though everything on another planet .
I couldn’t go home. It was almost MIDNIGHT  , i didn't want to  drive around . Before i knew it and without thinking ,  "where to go"?  I  was already  in the car ,foot to the peddle driving to the beach.  upon arrival , I  opened the door as though exiting a plane crash , from a  cockpit filled with smoke , gasping for air !
 Before i could blink , I found myself putting my feet into the cold beach sand. I rolled my pant legs up to my knees and  walked into a frigid  Pacific Ocean mist blowing at my eyelashes. One mile north of the Santa Monica Pier walking along the water breathing in the soupy sea air, listening to the ocean hiss and waves break in the distance.  This heavy feeling i had was still there but falling away … 
As i walked along , Out of the corner of my left eye I see something in the distance . 

My first thought is, "wow that’s one large fish! Beached the way it is, it must be dead". 
I start toward it, but long before I reached it, I could tell that this “fish” was no ordinary fish. And from that moment forth, the skycap in my mind would find itself in a fascinating storm that swirled worlds together !!! 
. It’s a beached dolphin, a baby dolphin!  The folklore behind this animal and its nature alone speaks volumes.

In the first half-second, i'm freaked out, thoughts race across my mind: How did this happen? What do I do?  Can I touch it or will it snap at me? to my mind came one thought , it’s a dolphin! known for rescuing humans. Why can’t the opposite be true? There’s no need to be scared!  
With that thought alone, before the first full second had passed, and without even looking at its condition: How am I going to return this dolphin  the sea?  
 The minute I touched it, it began to communicate. At first he gave a weekend  wiggled and blew from his spout much  the way a human would blow through a nostril. He blew with skepticism but no fight …  I turned him once. I looked at him and thought maybe I could pick up him from the middle portion of his body and over my shoulder. But when I attempted this, I realized, as small as he was, he was dense and extremely heavy !   Approximately 41/2 -5  ft in length, making him awkward to carry alone. 
The beach was dark ,desolate , not a person in sight.  Moving faster then i could think , never even taking a conscious look to verify if it was alive. I just had kept thinking ,  he belongs in the water !
 What can i do ! I have to drag him ! I griped him by the tail. His skin was surprisingly human-like, just cooler.
He was very far up on the beach, at least 30ft from where the shore started . Being as it was low tide,  he was at least 50ft from where the waves were breaking. 
I grabbed him by the rear fin or “tail” and began dragging him toward the water. I pulled him down into the water where the first small wave came in. 
 I thought, this will surely take him out to sea. The water built up to my ankles and picked him up slightly.
 The water carried him away from me but then the incoming waves brought   him back like a rolling pin , leaving him right back  at my feet again . 
It needed deeper water !  I pulled it  further down into the water .  The same thing happened again! 
 The water picked him up, carried him away from me drawing him out toward the sea, but not far enough,  not deep enough ! The water again subsided, leaving him beached. Again , I pull him further still into the ocean.
This happened three times, each time I pulled him further out waiting for the  water to come and take him . The poor dolphin was dragged and rolled around like a ball .  On the fourth try , I drag him till I was well over my knees in water . He was week ,  i felt his faint movement , and as i was letting go of him .  
I sensed something and look up over my shoulder to a black wall of water at eye level .  Before I could react--boom!!--the wave bumbled me down onto the dolphin and both of us were now under water now ! Cold shutter  , I felt the dolphin swim out from under me. 
 I struggled to stand in the turbulent water but the ocean floor was gone. Treading water  I was now facing  the brightly lit coastal cliffs  and buildings pressing through the nights fog.
 I was being drawn down  quickly. I got startled: Great, I save a dolphin and am going to die in the process. I began to fight  swimming against the water’s pull.
I remember thinking that it was no use to fight. I floated in a standing position with my arms out to my sides in order to soften the waters draw on me. I would wait for the next swell . " It will push me back to shore ". Sure enough, I felt the waters build and  I was raised up on the back of a shore-bound wave.  I quickly  positioned myself body board-style  and before I could see clearly through the tumbling water, i was catapulted back toward the beach .   I hit the shell-ridden shore with my knees. I stood up, my feet still in the water. Facing the shoreline, shivering in the cold wind, my knees cut up and burning . FINALY … a long quiet moment settled upend the night !!! I felt my heart race calming and with unfocused gaze on the  empty  beach sand before me…. silence . 
as the swirling storm . The convergence of two worlds and a multiplicity of existential matter unraveled .
Compelled to look back to the water.  Slowly I turned my chin over my right shoulder; I looked onto the  black sea and dark blue sky and in all its vastness like a hard wire directly to his back fin sticking out of the water,  I saw the dolphin i had saved that had saved me . with a final splashing wag of his tail-fin, he disappeared into the cold deep. ………………….Now that was interesting !
By Oziris Abdou